Thanks for being vulnerable enough to show an inner battle you face. I've experienced something similar. I found myself replaying certain conversations and mentally bonking my head for how crudely I spun certain sentences together. "Should have said ___ instead.. Why did I not start with __?" It's a dangerous thing, that Negative Nancy inner voice. But I've been trying to be kinder to myself, learned to talk to "Nancy" the past few years. I'm mindful that despite my fairly decent command of english, I know I'm still code-switching. Patience, it turns out, is a must when you practice self-compassion.
You've hit the nail on the head. I find that my fear of making mistakes is tied to people's perception of me, of my worth. The moment I became cognizant of that, I felt free (because then it meant I had to do the inner work).
Thanks for reading and for sharing your own experiences. You're right, inner work must be done. I just wish the results of such internal labor is much easier to quantify, so I can measure my progress, y'know?
Hehe I didn't expect that response but now that I think about it, I can understand why you're looking for indicators to cling to. How about going qualitative and tracking journal entries, seeing the change over time? Longitudinal study haha
Thanks for being vulnerable enough to show an inner battle you face. I've experienced something similar. I found myself replaying certain conversations and mentally bonking my head for how crudely I spun certain sentences together. "Should have said ___ instead.. Why did I not start with __?" It's a dangerous thing, that Negative Nancy inner voice. But I've been trying to be kinder to myself, learned to talk to "Nancy" the past few years. I'm mindful that despite my fairly decent command of english, I know I'm still code-switching. Patience, it turns out, is a must when you practice self-compassion.
You've hit the nail on the head. I find that my fear of making mistakes is tied to people's perception of me, of my worth. The moment I became cognizant of that, I felt free (because then it meant I had to do the inner work).
Thanks for reading and for sharing your own experiences. You're right, inner work must be done. I just wish the results of such internal labor is much easier to quantify, so I can measure my progress, y'know?
Hehe I didn't expect that response but now that I think about it, I can understand why you're looking for indicators to cling to. How about going qualitative and tracking journal entries, seeing the change over time? Longitudinal study haha